One of Those Days

Recently I was alone on a thirty minute drive. As I drove along the highway, out of the blue, I was suddenly reminded of little trips I had taken with Russ, while we lived in Port Charlotte, Florida. In that moment I realised that these are things I will never do with him again. I did not see them for the special outings that they were, I simply took them for granted as part of my life. A life which has drastically changed and will never ever be the same.

At least a couple of times a month, Russel and I would climb into Plum, the name he gave his Deep Amethyst-coloured, Chrysler Town and Country, and go for a drive. How he loved that van and I was a happy passenger. Never really liked the exterior colour, but the interior was neutral grey and pastels and very comfortable.

It was late 2002 and my folks and daughter were coming to visit with us in Port Charlotte, Florida. We were renting condo unit CC203 in The Oaks IV complex. It was a lovely little home owned by our friends, Yvette and Ralph. It was an exciting time, anticipating the arrival of our family for Christmas, but we wanted to all travel together in one vehicle. So we had been hunting for a mini-van for some time.

Russ, our son, Michael and I travelled from town to town, looking for something we liked. We saw many in Champagne, White and one in Cypress Green, but none of them appealed to Russel the way Plum did. About a month before the family were due to arrive, I finally gave up trying to convince him to get a van the colour I liked and just let Russ buy the one he wanted.

What a happy Chappie! With Michael’s help, Russ cleaned and polished his “baby” inside and out, continually grinning from ear to ear. It was the perfect vehicle for six of us to drive around Port Charlotte and the neighbouring towns. Plum was a great buy and a van which Russel loved for all the years he lived in Florida.

We all had a wonderful time driving around together in Plum, showing off our little corner of Florida to the rest of our family. It was great to all be in the one vehicle to enjoy the experiences together. During our family vacation, we enjoyed going to Orlando and spending time at Universal Studios, while Aileen and Russ were brave enough to tackle the rides at Islands of Adventure.

At the end of that holiday, Michael and I returned to South Africa, so that I could help my father-in-law, Alex, take care of his wife, Toni, during her final months battling terminal cancer.

Seven months later we returned to our home in The Oaks IV Condo complex and Russ had moved to Condo No. EE203. This would be our home from August 2003 until June 2014. I loved our little place almost as much as Russ loved his van. The view from Michael’s room faced the canal and it was a quiet, peaceful condo, which I greatly appreciated, especially when it became my room some years later. We were tucked away from the noise of the parking areas and also ideally situated for maximum coolness, which is very important in Florida, as the heat in summer is extreme.

During the months that Michael and I spent with Russ in America, we had some fun outings. Sometimes we would drive over the bridge from Port Charlotte to Punta Gorda, usually to spend some time at Fisherman’s Village. But on this day, as I recalled those memories, it was more about the trip than the destination. Every single time we crossed the Peace River, Russ would comment on the beauty of the water and how much he loved and appreciated those views.

There were weekends when we would go out to the beach at either Engelwood or Stump Pass. The sand was gorgeous and the water heavenly. On our way to one of these Gulf beaches, we would drive over the Intra-Coastal Water Way and once more Russel would mention how much he loved the scenes of the water.

One time we drove over the Skyway Bridge on a trip to Sarasota and it was pretty spectacular. However, just a week or so before I was due to fly out of Sarasota airport to travel back to South Africa, an accident or something had brought all traffic on the Skyway Pass to a standstill for hours. I encouraged Russ to find a different route as the prospect of being stuck on a bridge so high up in the air was frightening, especially if it had resulted in missing my flight.

Oh the memories I have of our life in Port Charlotte. We stopped at Clearwater Beach one day on a drive home from Sarasota and we stood amazed, staring at the incredible sand art on display. I think I took a couple of photographs, I can’t really remember now.

I have a lot of fond memories of trips to Sarasota. At the end of 2000, when the kids and I joined Russ in Port Charlotte he took us there and we enjoyed some lovely outings. Whenever we would drive into Sarasota, we always enjoyed the beautiful views of the bay. On that first visit we drove along Bayfront Drive and over the Ringling Causeway to St Armand’s Circle, where we looked at lovely little boutique shops and bought ice-cream and candy. One of Russel’s favourite stores to visit was Wyland’s Gallery, where we saw some beautiful ocean inspired artworks, including a glass table, supported by three metal dolphins.

After our stroll around St Armands, we took a short walk to Lido Key Beach and then we drove out to The Old Salty Dog for lunch. Afterwards we paid a visit to the Mote Aquarium. On another day we went to Sarasota Jungle Gardens. I recall so many special moments of that trip to America with fondness and yet also with deep sadness, as I miss the life that Russel and I there shared together.

Lunch at the Old Salty Dog 2010

That very first visit to Port Charlotte, Florida in December 2000, we went out to Fisherman’s Village, where our daughter, Aileen, spotted an evening gown in a boutique window, which sparked off the idea for her matric farewell dress, which would be the following year. That evening we went on a boat ride along the Punta Gorda Isles canals to see the Christmas lights. It was magical.

Russ, Mom and Dad

A couple of years later, when my son, Michael and I were staying with Russ in America, we took a drive to Naples and we went for a walk along the pier. It was a gorgeous day and turned out to be very interesting and fun indeed. The fishermen were out, trying to make a catch and we spotted a couple of dolphins stealing fish right off the hooks. We were delighted to have been observers of this angling sport.

Russ at Naples Pier in 2010

In the later years of Russel’s stay in Port Charlotte, we enjoyed more outings to Sarasota, to their beautiful mall, a trip around Sarasota Bay on the Marina Jack in 2010 with my folks and a couple of visits to the Marie Selby Botanical Gardens. Russ loved the outdoors and his Mom had been crazy about gardening, so it was a very special place to spend time, enjoying the gardens and memories of Toni.

There were outings to the Shell Factory, a couple of zoos, as well as one to a Planetarium in a town whose name completely eludes me. So many things come to me in wisps and whispers, and I long to remember more, but so much I have forgotten. In the past I would have been able to ask Russ and he would have nudged my memory for me. It is sad to have lived a life which I don’t remember parts of and yet the things I do recall are as fresh and real as if they happened yesterday.

America is far away from South Africa and I did complain to Russ on more than one occasion that I did not like so much distance between us and our families. However, Russel loved the Florida lifestyle and he was so settled and happy there. It has broken my heart over and over to think that I had to make him leave and bring Russ back to South Africa when he was so ill.

The one thing I held onto for such a long time, was that Russel would be miraculously healed and he could go back to his beloved Florida. I simply could not have coped with his illness over there, all alone and in our difficult financial situation. Our friends were wonderful, but we needed our family around us. Russ needed to spend time with Michael, Aileen and her husband, Quinten, as well as with other family members and friends of old.

When he passed, I was devastated and some days I still am. I know one thing for sure, I might not have survived Russel’s illness if he had died in America. His suffering and ultimate death have taken a huge toll on me, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Life is not easy for me here in South Africa, but it could have been so much worse. I am grateful for my family and friends who have stood by me, supported and encouraged me through the most dreadful life experience I have ever had to face.

I also thank my God for giving me the strength to endure and I continue to trust Him for His good plan in my life and that my story is not over yet. I have many more chapters to live, just sad that they will have to be without my husband, friend and life partner, Russel Keith Harrison. May his unique personality and all he gave to the world never be forgotten. I know in my own heart, that I will remember and love him forever. I only wish I could tell Russ now all that I have come to realise that he meant to me and how grateful I am for the life we shared.