Tears In A Bottle

I can barely fathom that ten months have passed by since you left us for heaven Russ. There is not a day which goes by that I do not think about you. Sometimes I am so sad it feels as raw and painful as that very first moment I realised you were gone from this earth, and my life, forever. In-between there are some “normal” days, if I can even call them that. Simply days that pass by with thoughts of you, but free from the deep grief I felt before.

I would even go as far as to say that I have had some really good days. I have been blessed to wake up some mornings feeling well and happy to still be alive. On those days, the thought of living my life with joy and enthusiasm, to honour your last wishes for me, seems attainable. But even now, ten months down the line, those moments are few and far apart.

I saw the following image on Facebook recently, which made me decide to write about crying and tears, and to use today’s blog picture based on Psalm 56:8 “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”

Sometimes I read the comments which accompany these posts and I am utterly amazed by how little some people think outside the box. One person was highly offended that the words on the picture, were not a direct quotation of Psalm 56:8. Since I believe that God speaks to each of us individually and imparts the message our hearts need in a particular moment, it stands to reason that every person will read a verse and, apart from the obvious sense of the text, it can also answer a question within us. This image spoke to me.

When I think of all the tears I have cried over Russ, both when he was ill and suffering, and after he had passed. I know in my own heart, that God not only heard my sobbing and saw my tears, but in His infinite love He has, according to His Word, collected them in a bottle. Quite frankly, I don’t think one bottle would be enough, I am pretty sure that there is a storeroom in heaven, with hundreds of bottles holding all the tears I have cried to The Lord. When I could find no words and only sob in my anguish, I do believe that my tears held prayers which God could perfectly comprehend.

His Word is clear, as per the quotation of Psalm 56:8 above. God keeps track of our sorrows (griefs, distresses, regrets, troubles, burdens, disappointments, worries, torments, tortures, heartaches, anguishes, angsts, pains, miseries, woes, unhappiness, agonies, aches, despondencies, sufferings, despairs, anxieties, fears, desolations, afflictions, travails ~ the list goes on, with any of these words interchangeable for sorrows).

Not only does Psalm 56:8 record that God knows our sorrows, but he actually collects the tears we cry in His bottle. I personally do not know of anything else, which is collected and stored in a bottle by God, other than our tears. I can only assume that they must therefore, have an extremely solemn and remarkable meaning.

Even more importantly, besides tracking our sorrow and collecting our tears, God also records “each one”, every single tear, in His “book.” There is a profound significance to our weeping before the Lord, which is beyond our human comprehension. It is important enough to be tracked, tears collected and also recorded. Which means that it will never be forgotten by God. I am amazed beyond words.

While writing this blog piece, I was reminded of this story in 1 Samuel 1:9-20 (NASB), in which Hannah, the wife of Elkanah, could not bear children and so she went to the temple to pray. She was so upset in her weeping and praying that the priest on duty, Eli, thought she was drunk. It says in verse 10, “She, greatly distressed, prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly.” Then Hannah spoke to the priest, Eli, about her situation and he answered her with the words that she would indeed fall pregnant with the child she had prayed for. God saw her crying and heard her prayers, blessing her with a son, Samuel.

There are stories of others in the Bible who wept before the Lord, as did Hezekiah in 2 Kings 20:1-6 (NIV) “In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, “This is what the Lord says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover.” 2 Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord, 3 “Remember, Lord, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly. 4 Before Isaiah had left the middle court, the word of the Lord came to him: 5 “Go back and tell Hezekiah, the ruler of my people, ‘This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you. On the third day from now you will go up to the temple of the Lord. 6 I will add fifteen years to your life…’” Hezekiah prayed and wept. God heard and answered.

When Lazarus, brother of Mary and Martha, became ill and died, Jesus, who was also their friend, journeyed to their home to be with them and Mary went to meet him. John 11:32-34, “32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

In the very next verse, John 11:35 it says, “Jesus wept.” The Lord himself was so moved by the grief, pain and anguish of his friends over the death of their brother, Lazarus, that he too cried. His love for Lazarus was so obvious that the next verse in John 11:36 it is written, “Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”” In this situation, Lazarus was so blessed to have Jesus in his life, because the story goes on to record that he was literally raised from the dead.

In my research on tears and weeping in the Bible, I found three instances where Jesus himself wept. As already recorded above, one was in John 11:35 over Lazarus. A second account is found in Luke 19:41 “And when he was come near, he beheld the city, and wept over it.” This was where our Lord cried over Jerusalem.

The third time that Jesus wept, is found in Hebrews 5:7, “During the days of Jesus’ earthly life, He offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the One who could save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverence.”

The God who created heaven and earth, hears our cries and sees our tears. He is moved to action on our part, gathering our tears, storing them in a bottle and recording them in His book. However, it may not always mean that God will answer yes to every prayer offered up with weeping. He is still sovereign. Our Lord knows best and sometimes, regardless of our anguish over a situation, the answer we seek is responded to with a no.

As difficult as it is to accept this reply from God to our heart-wrenching requests, He knows what needs to be done. This is the point at which our faith may be tested. We need to learn to cling to Christ regardless and continue to trust The One who is the Almighty God of the universe and that He has a good plan for our lives. It is written in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

It is written in Hebrews 11:6, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” So when our faith is tried and tested by suffering in this earthly life, we must not lose our faith, but rather we need to press in and continue to trust God, regardless of the circumstances. Not only will He work out all these things to our good, we can also rest assured that as we struggle in the deep despair of loss and grief, or any kind of unbearable pain or distress, God is with us. He will carry us through. We can completely trust the love of the One who died, so that we might live. Grab hold of this truth and cling to Christ, as The Lord casts out our fear in His Perfect Love.