Time To Say Goodbye

So sad. This day, Monday, 21 March 2016, was the day we chose to scatter Russel’s ashes at his most favourite place in the whole world, Champagne Castle Hotel. Russ loved these mountains from the very first moment we arrived on our honeymoon on Sunday, 2 October 1988.

On that day, as we arrived, and drove under the Champagne Castle Hotel arch, and up the driveway, lined with gorgeous Azaleas in bloom, we knew this was indeed a very special place. We parked the Alfa under the shade of tall, beautiful trees. As we stepped out of the vehicle, and drew in our very first breath of fresh mountain air, we were hooked.

As we approached the hotel reception, we stopped, to gaze in wonder, at a view that took our very breath away! Before our eyes rose the Drakensberg in magnificent mountain grandeur. The grass was the greenest we had ever seen and the colourful, Spring-time flowers filled our hearts with joy.

Even though I had arrived on our honeymoon with a dreadful head cold, just being in that wonderful place made me feel better. There was no end to our delight, as we entered our honeymoon suite and I saw the peach-coloured duvet cover on the bed. For Russel it was the fact that he discovered the start to all the walks from the hotel was right outside our room.

It took me a couple of restful days to recover from the worst effects of my head cold, but that did not stop Russ. He hiked all over those mountains to his heart’s content. After we had breakfast together, Russel would join the daily guided walk and he would tell me all about it when he returned for lunch.

In the afternoon’s, while I napped, Russ would go for a run and explore the area around the hotel. He would return just in time to have a bath and freshen up for supper. Anyone who knew Russel, knows that he did not like to wear a suit unless absolutely necessary, but at Champagne Castle Hotel, he happily donned a jacket and tie for dinner every night. I enjoyed dressing up in the evenings and it seemed so romantic.

After a couple of days’ rest, I felt able to join Russ on one of the guided walks. That particular day we went to Fern Forest. It did not sound too far or too difficult, but it was more so than expected. I did struggle, but managed to accomplish the hike with everyone else. On our way back my head cold was taking a toll once more and I remember telling Russel that my legs were “trembling”. This became a family joke and dinner story for many years.

Russ and I spent five wonderful days in a place that would eventually become a favourite holiday destination for our family many times over the twenty seven years of our marriage. Our extended family also enjoyed Champagne Castle and both our sets of parents joined us for special Christmas vacations at the berg.

But that was then and this is now. Such wonderful memories, all tainted by the loss of Russel. I can hardly bear to think about the things I have written, without sobbing and missing Russ all the more. For me, Champagne Castle Hotel will never be the same again without Russel. Going there without him in person was heartbreaking.

I know that we did our best to honour Russel’s memory by scattering his ashes as he had requested. Russ asked me to scatter some of his ashes in the stream, along Mike’s Path, where both his Mom and Dad’s ashes were placed. He also wanted ashes to be sprinkled around the base of a beautiful tree in the garden, close to the room we had stayed in on our last visit.

Not on his list, but something I know would have made Russel happy, were the ashes Aileen and Quinten took with them to leave at Crystal Falls. This was one of the walks Russ enjoyed the most. It is a particularly scenic hike, with splendid panoramic views of Champagne Valley from the side of the mountain. The falls themselves are pretty, landing in a lovely pool of water and then continuing to flow onwards from there.

On our previous visit to Champagne Castle Hotel, in January 2015, Russ and I had managed to hike to the falls. It was a long walk for someone in Russel’s condition, but he was determined to get there and would not give up. Although I felt as if I could hardly make it, I kept going for Russel’s sake and we got there. The round trip took us over four hours, but we did it. I was so proud of Russ for making that supreme effort. So much so, that in my heart, I truly believed he would beat that cancer and live.

Sadly, that did not happen, and so it was that we were in the position of making Russel’s Happy Place, his final Resting Place.

Russ, I still long for you so much and wish you were here. I know our family miss you terribly. Somehow I have to find a way to love and remember you, but let you go.

When Russel’s Mom passed away, she had requested that Aileen play the song, ”Time to Say Goodbye” on the piano at Toni’s Memorial Service. Since I have given the same title to this blog piece, I thought it appropriate to add the English words here as an homage to the three Harrisons who were a part of my family and have now departed this earth for their heavenly home. I dedicate these words to you Russ.

Time to Say Goodbye

When I'm alone I dream of the horizon and words fail me.

There is no light in a room where there is no sun

and there is no sun if you're not here with me, with me.

From every window unfurls my heart, the heart that you have won.

Into me you've poured the light,

the light that you found by the side of the road.

Time to say goodbye.

Places that I've never seen or experienced with you.

Now I shall, I'll sail with you upon ships across the seas,

seas that exist no more,

it's time to say goodbye.

When you're far away I dream of the horizon and words fail me.

And of course I know that you're with me, with me.

You, my moon, you are with me.

My sun, you're here with me with me, with me, with me.

Time to say goodbye.

Places that I've never seen or experienced with you.

Now I shall, I'll sail with you upon ships across the seas,

seas that exist no more,

I'll revive them with you.

I'll go with you upon ships across the seas,

seas that exist no more,

I'll revive them with you.

I'll go with you.

You and me.

(Sung by Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli)

Until we see each other again in heaven Russ xoxo

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